Last night I spent some time in the garage, going through my boxes of Christmas decorations. It was with some hesitation, and I couldn't really explain why. Last year, I didn't even go into those boxes. I just bought a new little fiber optic tree and let it go at that.
As I opened the boxes, I felt a mixture of emotions: my heart opened as I looked at the things that reminded me of my daughter, and as I saw the beautiful Christmas stockings my late mother-in-law had created from beads, sequins, and buttons.
There was also much that was shabby. There were strings of lights that didn't light. There were things that were broken, dirty, or otherwise past their prime.
I remembered the years when I would take it all out and use it. After all, isn't it part of the tradition of Christmas to bring out all of our precious memories?
Looking at it now, I realize that some things are best left in the past, or let go of - like the year my husband and I decided to get a divorce - just before Christmas.
And then there are the wonderful memories, like Megan's first Christmas. I still have a photo of her with a Christmas bow on her head.
What does it really mean to keep the tradition of Christmas? I like to think it has to do with the original meaning of Christmas, the birth of the Christ child, embodying peace on earth and good will toward humankind.
The external expressions may change, but the essence of Christmas is love. How do I keep Christmas? By gifting people with expressions of love.
The important things are kept in the heart and not in a box.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Gratitude
With Thanksgiving around the corner, it seems like a good time to talk about gratitude.
I have much to be grateful for:
I have much to be grateful for:
- A granddaughter, Addison, who is now nine months old, happy healthy and thriving
- A daughter, Megan, and son-in-law, John, who are amazing people
- A new dog, Buddy, who joined the household in the past month
- The fact that my parents are still around, and in reasonably good health
- I am on speaking terms with almost all of my immediate family, including my ex-husband and his wife
- A job I really enjoy
- The freedom to do what I want, when I want
- Joyful anticipation of a trip to Denver, to visit my daughter, Megan, her husband, John, and of course Addie, for Thanksgiving.
When did life get so good? Or has it always been this good, and I just didn't notice till now. Sarah Ban Breathnach, in her book "Simple Abundance", recommends taking stock every day of what we have to be grateful for.
Write down ten things that you are grateful for today. Do this every day, even if you repeat some of the same things.
You might just discover that life is good, right now - if you choose to focus on the things you do have, instead of the things you don't have.
Happy Thanksgiving - Alexangel
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Shadow Knows. . .
I have been reading a fascinating book. It's called Meeting the Shadow. Edited by Zweig and Abrams, it is a collection of writings by various philosophers, theologians, psychologists and psychiatrists on the shadow side that each of us carries.
What is the shadow? It's those aspects of our own being that we repress or disown in order to be acceptable and accepted in our world. In our culture, things sometimes inadvertently get repressed in an effort to control something else.
For example: your toddler pushes down another child and takes away his toy. You are shocked, but you are enlighted enough not to scold. Instead, you tell your child that it's not okay to treat another child that way.
But if you don't acknowledge that your child is angry and give her some ideas of how to deal with her anger, she may get the idea that it's not okay to get angry.
Anger is a not a bad emotion. It carries a lot of power to change things. The key is in how you express the anger. It was the anger of a mother that created Mothers Against Drunk Driving. So how do we teach children to acknowledge their emotions, which are part of who they are, in ways that are constructive and liberating?
What is the shadow? It's those aspects of our own being that we repress or disown in order to be acceptable and accepted in our world. In our culture, things sometimes inadvertently get repressed in an effort to control something else.
For example: your toddler pushes down another child and takes away his toy. You are shocked, but you are enlighted enough not to scold. Instead, you tell your child that it's not okay to treat another child that way.
But if you don't acknowledge that your child is angry and give her some ideas of how to deal with her anger, she may get the idea that it's not okay to get angry.
Anger is a not a bad emotion. It carries a lot of power to change things. The key is in how you express the anger. It was the anger of a mother that created Mothers Against Drunk Driving. So how do we teach children to acknowledge their emotions, which are part of who they are, in ways that are constructive and liberating?
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Greetings
Welcome to postings by AlexAngel and her friends. I'm new to this, so it may take a while to get the hang of it.
Is this a personal journal? A "vanity blog" where I can display what a deep and sensitive person I am? Will I be posting an "inspirational thought for the day"? Possibly. Probably.
I want a place to talk about my day, not in terms of the trivial events that happen, but in terms of the deeper experiences that come from really being present in the moment.
For example, I have been noticing this week that fall is emerging. The shadows are becoming longer, and the air is a bit crisper at night, even if the day has been quite warm. For me, it awakens some primitive impulse - to begin preparing for winter. This means drinking warm tea, stoking up on comfort foods, and buying books to read on cold, rainy winter nights.
Was there a time when humankind went into hibernation in the winter? I suppose there must have been in some parts of the world. There seems to be some deep genetically driven compulsion here, that starts with a sense of anticipation, and a gut-level anxiety about survival.
As human beings, I believe we are not at our best when we are focused on survival. That drives behavior in reaction to a belief in scarcity. "Will I have enough to eat until spring? Will there be enough wood to keep the fires going?"
That's where faith comes in. But it seems, no matter how many winters I have survived (physically and metaphorically), I still come up against the same fears! Maybe this is the place to explore those fears: the shadow of the human condition.
Is this a personal journal? A "vanity blog" where I can display what a deep and sensitive person I am? Will I be posting an "inspirational thought for the day"? Possibly. Probably.
I want a place to talk about my day, not in terms of the trivial events that happen, but in terms of the deeper experiences that come from really being present in the moment.
For example, I have been noticing this week that fall is emerging. The shadows are becoming longer, and the air is a bit crisper at night, even if the day has been quite warm. For me, it awakens some primitive impulse - to begin preparing for winter. This means drinking warm tea, stoking up on comfort foods, and buying books to read on cold, rainy winter nights.
Was there a time when humankind went into hibernation in the winter? I suppose there must have been in some parts of the world. There seems to be some deep genetically driven compulsion here, that starts with a sense of anticipation, and a gut-level anxiety about survival.
As human beings, I believe we are not at our best when we are focused on survival. That drives behavior in reaction to a belief in scarcity. "Will I have enough to eat until spring? Will there be enough wood to keep the fires going?"
That's where faith comes in. But it seems, no matter how many winters I have survived (physically and metaphorically), I still come up against the same fears! Maybe this is the place to explore those fears: the shadow of the human condition.
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